


stay and let me watch you break it down

by AlexSeanchai



Category: The Twelve Dancing Princesses | The Shoes That Were Danced to Pieces - Brothers Grimm
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Declarations Of Love, LGBTQ Character, Multi, POV Second Person, Podfic Welcome, Poetry, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24119698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexSeanchai/pseuds/AlexSeanchai
Summary: This is Emilia and you love her.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36
Collections: Once Upon a Fic 2020





	stay and let me watch you break it down

**Author's Note:**

  * For [templemarker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/templemarker/gifts).



> Thanks to Karios for the beta!

bass thud thud thud

stomp stomp _clap_ stomp stomp _clap_

bass thud thud thud

handbells sing out

stomp stomp _clap_ stomp stomp _clap_

bass thud thud thud

stomp stomp _clap_

chime bells in hand

bass thud

bass thud

* * *

Someone is yelling. _Wake up, come feed me,_ as always. You don't want to: it might be easier to lift a life-size marble statue from its plinth than your head from its pillow, to light a bonfire than to push aside the thin shelter between you and the January air, and you're not sure you can feel your feet.

If _she_ called, you'd leap from the bed, seize pike and helm and—

"Carys," grumbles a voice beside you, "your escape artist is awake."

(Who's this?)

Answering with anything but a low "mmm" is beyond your power right now. The blankets shift: something heavy warm purring on your back, _cold_ small wet on your neck.

—Right. Cat. Feed—feed cat. That's…important.

You pry yourself out of the rough cotton sheets, trying not to shiver: you shout when your heel strikes the floor.

"Carys?"

The woman's black eyes flick over you, her eyebrows crinkled and her hand steady on your shoulder. You say something. She tilts one ordinary round ear toward you: _repeat please_ , you know she means. You don't know what you said.

She sighs. "I'll feed her. You rest."

You nod; you sink back into the heaviness.

An—hour later? you aren't sure—a familiar scent just this side of bitter tempts you to the main room, no matter how your feet hurt and your head spins. Daylight peeks in between thick dark curtains and the wall, sparing your pounding head. The woman is sitting on an upholstered seat, the cat (a gray tabby with one ear clipped) on her lap and a flat black device on the cat, its text and images changing under her fingertips. She looks up, sets the device on the low table, nudges the cat till she leaps to the carpet; you sit on the cushion beside the one she vacated, listening to the jingle of the cat's collar.

> **Milica**  
>  Parmesan bread? Parmesan is good and salty…
> 
> **Catrina**  
>  I'm going to try the garlic spinach
> 
> **Carmen**  
>  for the fifth time, Lupe, these aren't vampires!

The woman

Emilia

returns, a mug of steaming brown something in one hand, an Erlenmeyer-flask shot glass filled to the forty-milliliter line in the other, a cup of ice water in the crook of her elbow. "Drink this first," she says, wiggling the flask.

It won't nourish you.

Her name is Emilia and you love her.

"Do you trust me?" she asks, setting down the mug and cup.

You have left lovers you don't trust. You have left mothers you can't trust.

This is Emilia and you love her.

You take the flask.

—You almost spit the mouthful out again. Her hand covers your mouth: it's swallow the salty horror or choke on it. When you have, the woman offers you the ice water. Then your own tablet, when you feel almost human again. You don't remember your PIN, but your fingers don't need you to: it opens to a conversation you do not remember a word of. You read it and wonder who you're telling not to drink the wine, why you say salt protects, and what this word you doubt you can pronounce means; you reach for the coffee; you return to the tablet, open to a conversation you have never seen before.

The staircase sings.

Be careful, Emilia.

She brings you a roast beef sandwich, ranch dressing on irregularly shaped slices of multigrain bread, before she kneels with sharp-scented ointment to massage and bandage your feet. The meal and the coffee taste like air.

* * *

bass thud thud thud

stomp stomp _clap_ stomp stomp _clap_

bass thud thud thud

handbells sing out

stomp stomp _clap_ stomp stomp _clap_

bass thud thud thud

stomp stomp _clap_

chime bells chime bells

bass thud

bass thud

* * *

"Tell your princess not to follow," says the prince who rows you across the river.

 _She isn't mine,_ you want to say. But you know, here, the names of those who followed your oath-siblings. Elaine's Adrianna died of the wine Elaine joyously offered her; Kit's Laura died of the wine Kit, weeping in silence, poured her. Gail's Zvezdana snapped a twig from one of the golden trees, and the golden trees snapped her back. Rebecca's Aaron drowned. Celestine's Ben lives only because they now dance too. You heard Irene's footfalls on the singing staircase, and then you heard silence: not even Ikenna mourned aloud.

Ananta's Milica and Ben's Lupe and Suyin's Catrina and Margot's Carmen will follow.

Your Emilia will follow.

The water, clear as sky and deep as sky and bright as all else in this place, ripples with the boats' passage and splashes with the oars.

Your Emilia will follow.

Your Emilia will follow.

Does she know enough yet?

Your Emilia will follow.

Your Emilia will follow and then she is Ours.

Your Emilia will follow.

You think of what you plan to tell her. You say nothing.

* * *

bass thud thud thud

stomp stomp _clap_ stomp stomp _clap_

bass thud thud thud

stomp stomp _clap_ stomp stomp _clap_

bass thud thud thud

chime bells in hand  
(she took the wine)

bass thud thud thud

chime bells in hand  
(Suyin yelped on silent stairs)

bass thud thud thud

(silence from the trees)

stomp stomp _clap_

bass thud thud thud

(Margot's boat rides low today)

stomp stomp _clap_

chime bell—?

bass thud thud thud

stomp stomp stomp stomp

chime bell—?

bass thud

STOMP

"They're _mine_!"

"You _dare_ —"

"They are mine! _This_ one by their love for me and mine for them, _these_ by their words to each other and to their loves and by their loves' words to me! They are _mine_ and I shall take them home!"

"My children!" _she_ calls. "Take up arms! An intruder!"

This suit of silk will serve as suit of armor: there are blades hung about the room

were those there before?

and Elaine wields a sword with dancer's grace, Kit a crossbow, Gail a glaive

that's Emilia

and you take up two daggers

that is Emilia and you love her

sheathe one at your belt and pick up a goblet

she made you roasted asparagus for dinner last night  
garlic and Parmesan and olive oil and salt

"She may dance with us, beloveds, but if she will not, she must die!"

she made you bread with her own two hands

the goblet shimmers with

steam from the coffee, brewed half and half with hot cocoa, no cream

good things you cannot name

that is Emilia and you love her

and want to share and want to keep and

that is Emilia and she loves you

Ananta draws the woman's blood.

that is Emilia and she _loves you_

"Emilia!"

A ringing silence falls.

You drop the goblet and the dagger and stumble to your Emilia's side.

_She_ laughs.

The Queen laughs.

* * *

You stir at the sound of feline yowling. _Wake up, come feed me,_ as always. You roll out of bed—which flavor did you feed Alcis last? the chicken? you think it was the chicken, so you'll serve her the beef—and trudge to the kitchen to start the coffee, to get out the milk and the eggs. Your feet hurt abominably.

"Carys?" asks your lover.

You turn. "Emilia?"

She bobbles the tablet onto the counter and throws her arms around you, swinging you off your feet and breathlessly around the tiny space, only just not clocking you on the refrigerator handle or dishwasher door. Alcis leaps up, landing on the tablet screen; Emilia shoos her off, sets you gently down, types something one-handed, buries her face in your shoulder and pulls you close. Alcis noses your shin, purring.

> **Emilia**  
>  hjn  
>  (cat)  
>  Carys is making breakfast, _breakfast_ , y'all
> 
> **Milica**  
>  Ananta recognized me!
> 
> **Catrina**  
>  Suyin's complaining about the smell of Bengay. BY NAME.
> 
> **Lupe**  
>  I'll start calling the others
> 
> **Carmen**  
>  —wait so did we win

"Carys," Emilia sobs, and when she looks up she's smiling.


End file.
